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rocksolid / Entertainment / The Swiss Salt Shaker

o The Swiss Salt ShakerAnonymous

Subject: The Swiss Salt Shaker
From: Anonymous
Newsgroups: rocksolid.shared.entertainment
Organization: Rocksolid Light
Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2024 02:00 UTC
From: Anonym...@invalid.invalid (Anonymous)
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Subject: The Swiss Salt Shaker
Date: Tue, 27 Feb 2024 02:00:18 +0000
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This a tribute to my idol from ZA, Fluffy Pony.

A salt shaker is a mechanical, automatic, wristwatch. If you leave a salt shaker at rest for 48 hours, you have to wind it by shaking it like a salt shaker.
I'm a time freak. Before the thin watch war of 1980, I fell victim to deceptive advertising. A muscular, bearded, forger with a big hammer and wearing only a leather apron was wearing a salt shaker while pounding hot metal. I'm not gay (the old disclaimer) but I was taken. The cost in today's money was around 5k CHF.
About a week after the purchase I realized that my purchase was more in the jewellery category. For interrupts or program execution you needed better tools like oscilloscopes. What was I thinking? The claims were scratch and shock resistant, water proof to 100 something (ATM or meters but I don't remember) and the time keeping was accurate to less than 5 seconds a week.
I resigned myself that at least it will last me a lifetime. After about 2 years it started to fog up and loose time accuracy. After 4 years it died completely. I was so upset that I demanded a refund. A watch expert from the company investigated the claim and came up with the answer: the seals were eaten/destroyed by a solvent that people use to clean their hands from grease, motor-oil and other mechanical stains. Frustrated I asked what the forger was using to clean up his hands. "Oh that is just a feeling". I was about to knee-cap the asshole and rip his balls out just so he could get my feeling.
Some reminders from those days. Half of my car trunk was tools and spare parts. If you did not carry motor oil or jumper cables, you deserved to be shot on the road next to your stopped car. It was impossible for most people to keep their hands clean. I'm grateful to the Empire of Japan for fixing the car market.

Later in life I came to the understanding that the biggest Swiss product is bullsh!t.

rocksolid / Entertainment / The Swiss Salt Shaker


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